sleeping_lesson

I'm such a failure at this life thing. In every aspect. I just kid myself into thinking i'm doing alright, and that i'm happy and i do such a good job with the convincing that i forget that i'm just lying to everyone, myself included. so i've come home for a few days just because it's reading week and i needed to get away from the studio and all the work. i said i'd do work here but i've done fuck all and in all honesty, i knew that was going to happen but in all frankness i don't actually give a shit. and then there's the situation which happens time and time again when i fall for the bad boy and his promises, only to get disappointed, time and time again. note to self: don't get hooked on the bad ones. i try not to, i just can't help it. maybe i enjoy the instantaneous rush followed by the harsh disappointment because then feelings don't even come into it and i don't have to deal with all that rubbish. i guess that's why i go for the guys i do actually. because i know it's never going to go anywhere.